I Spy

I am a helicopter mom. I know it, I own it, I embrace it. I fuss and I hover. I Overthink everything, I am just so scared that I make the same mistakes my parents made.

My oldest has a terrible fear that I am going to forget him at school, and I don’t understand why. I have never not been near or there when they needed me. I wonder if that might be the reason? He told his grandma that he would like to go to school near them, because they will never forget him at school!!! That makes me angry, and sad and very confused. Feels like I am being punished for something I did not even do yet!

You so often feel that you fail as a parent, and hope that you just raise the right kind of human to live a normal life in society. I know there are lots of things I am getting wrong as a mom, I just hope I get the fundamental stuff right. Children just need to feel loved and valued. Being a parent you stop being selfish and you start being selfless. You stop thinking about what you want and you start to focus on what is really important. Like raising little people to be hard enough to survive in a @#$ed up society and soft enough not to be @#$$up themselves because of it. It sounds impossible, and it sure feels that way somedays. I love my kids more than life itself. I would give my life for them. It scares me so much sometimes. So why would my son feel the way he feels? I think we are all born with our issues and insecurities. Some of them are no ones fault. Its just part of who we are and what we are. My job is to love him the way he is, with his issues, and try to understand it, and make him feel that it is ok. This is not about me, or my issues its about unconditional love.

So till my dying day, I will worry, I will hover and I will spy, to make sure, that my kids are happy, healthy and ok. Because that is just the way I am.

Peace, joy and love. Till we chat again.




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